Travel

NETTE AND I ARE GOING TO KOREA TOGETHER NEXT WEEK WOOHOOO!

Basically no news, not much anyways

I see I was on the verge of abandoning this blog once again. So I've got news. News that I'll reveal soon hopefully. Not anything major although some may argue and well, maybe it is rather big where it concerns me. Ok so whatever it is, news nonetheless. In due time. :)

Some other news though like you would know if you follow me on instagram because almost nothing is not on it.

Yup, I chopped my hair. I guess it's kinda big-ish news if you know me, you know I like to cut my hair rather often simply because I get bored quickly and I haven't been cutting my length since early last year. So that is pretty long. I also curled it because my hair is very straight and very limp. Do I miss my long hair? Not at all. 

Please

Don't leave me alone to my own thoughts.

I make my own spring

Now that the haze has cleared up considerately -finally! - it sure does look (a little) like it's spring in Malaysia! Wow I'm really getting into the seasons thing aren't I. Haha. But seriously, there are flowers that look very much like cherry blossoms growing around the area where I live and pictures of those are a little tricky since they're along the roads. So here, I coordinated what I think would look like a spring outfit - is faux leather spring-like? I dunno - with my black booties speaking of which I really think I need to start buying shoes of different colours. Also I wore a bright highlighter-like coral lip which had gradually faded.

 Excuse my messy hair ok I was among the masses in Ikea for a few hours.

(Top Topshop Skirt HM)

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Then I spent the night flipping through a fashion mag and inhaling green apple scent from my newly bought candle. My kind of quiet night. :)

Modern times

Some pictures from two weeks back. My sister takes the nicest candid (and the derpiest) of me. But yeah, this kimono, I'm loving it. I really do love my jackets/outerwears- they are top on my essentials list. I do think this looks best (maybe) with a long sleeved dress or sweater but alas, this weather! :( And I also realised I've been wearing a lot of monochromes lately - oh look it's a black jacket and a striped tee again - but I don't usually wear a lot of blacks, not often so I think that was why I threw in an orange there. Am I exuding Japanese vibes here?

Unventured

I've been writing SO much this past month and the most recent one being a script which was muy importante and probably the most meaningful one of the lot. Which was also a first for me. In fact, I had also written my very first poem or more like a free verse anyway. Now I'm really not gonna lie and say it felt natural for me or like I was super exited to write or had the best time whilst at it because surprise! it's none of the above. Strangely even after I decided this is where I'm heading into next, I struggled. At times, I even had to push myself to do it. And in those times, it also felt like a chore. (But then again, I guess it's like homework. They always feel like chores.) Buuuut, it felt so fulfilling when someone had read something I've written and told me they liked it. UGH I WAS SO HAPPY T_T People always told me I never really had to work hard for something (I guess they're right somewhat) and yeah I guess it does feel good to finally push myself and see the fruits of my labor hehe. I hope this is for me or that I at least see it through.

Proper

I was on singing duty yesterday in church so that means semi formal-ish. While I don't usually wear pants pants to anywhere - in fact I don't even own a pair and neither am I in a hurry to get one not now anyways - I found these gem pants in my mom's closet hurrah! They're pretty structured and fits well that I love them and probably will borrow them sometime again. Now I can put 'go pants shopping' off the list for a while. And well my hair, my sister did it (I can't even braid properly) and let's just say she's in a race against time before I chop it all off.

Vacant souls

If you wake up with no hopes and expectations, you wake up to nothing.

I take my mind off

Mom came in to ask if I needed company. I told her I was fine. I am fine.

Currently reading Haruki Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. I'm going reaaally slow at it, approx 15 pages a day. There are freaking 600 pages and it's gonna take me 53892705 more days to finish. Sorry I can't math anymore.

Currently watching The Walking Dead s04e09. What the butt is this season? I hate this season.

2/? of my mind

I've been meaning to write this for the longest time ever since I saw that one tumblr post about depression which had unsettled me quite a bit. Maybe not intentional, but some texts I thought were a little shallow. Like the sickness of a body, it's a sickness of the mind. No matter how little someone suffers from it, I don't think it gives anyone the right to undermine it. And yea you may say, it's simple really because the only way you can get out of it is to just literally get your mind out of it. No? Do you just tell someone who is say suffering from a physical illness to just get over it? No. What these people need is love, support and time not judgement. Open your eyes (and mind tbh) and look closely, it's happening all around, faster and deadlier than any cancerous cell. It. Is. Real. And if you're still throwing mindless words like these around, please, you're painfully ignorant.

So I'm sitting here - been for a few hours now - trying to write something and for some reason I just can't. Words form but somehow sentences slip away and my grammar is just all over the place. I'm feeling distracted and more unsure each day than the last. Can I really take this on? If I can't write something so simple, how will I do it for the next few years or so.

I'll take that as a promise

I think there are some days when I can break down and tell myself it's okay. That I will get back up tomorrow. I'm allowed today.

"
When will I be alright?
Someday.
Today?
Not today.
One day?
One day.
"

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