Finishing In 5 Months!

Asked Him for peace and that's exactly what I got.
(except for that idiotic driver in the morning and my period. ;( )

Sometimes what you get is not what you want;
What you want is not what you get;
Neither is what you want, what you need.

#Me

Where

When I come home every day after I've gone to school, after I worry about homework, after I've taken my nap, after I've taken my meals, I curl up in bed at night and think What now? and feel a lot empty and lonely inside.

But it isn't supposed to be like this. God isn't supposed to be like this.

I Don't Know If

I think I'm slowly becoming one of those people who despises - maybe despise is too strong of a word - human contact or in fact, any kind of human interaction for that matter. Don't feel like small talks or even the effort of making them, don't really want to know how one's day went, don't feel like giving responses to any sort of questions and anytime I do go out, I just feel like going back home.

I'd rather now stay in bed all day long, read things and scroll through tumblr, stay in my virtual reality, play a little tetris like a programmed machine, listen to the same things on a small repeat loop, find things to do on the iPod, anything and sometimes I get a little desperate whilst so.

And the scariest and truest part, is that I'm okay with this.

Also, my sleeping problem is back.

Which is usually resolved if I tire my eyes on my iPod in the dark and only then, I fall asleep.

Raw



Bucket list: Nell live.

Week 2

Hi.

• Sleeping well
• Eating well
• School's pretty ok too, been doing my homework and paying attention
• Not crying too much because yeah, I realise it is not that normal
• Started to pray more before I sleep because it feels good to sleep then and feels even better when I wake up

Only disappointment being myself, God (maybe) and my frustrating crashing iPod.

Small Packaging

Just took a shower, now sitting back on my huge comfy green chair, scrolling throught the net, reading stuffs/nonsense, no excessive thinking and having my first listen on Last Dinosaurs (not completely my taste but calming per se. Just finished Imagine Dragons, I quite like them more my kind of music given, they're probably cultish and all but then again I don't take meanings to the literal if I don't want to. I believe in what I believe). Just thought I'd pen this down, it has been a very good day today.

Project o1: Love is Here

For now, I thought I needed to document my first.



For Aaron & Brenda, because you are never fatherless.

Origins

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay

Tears don't mean you're losing
Everybody's bruising

Not my favourite voice, don't even fancy her too much.
But she's right, the message at the end is right too.

*Also, this is definitely on my bucket list. :)))

||

You never enjoy your life
Livin' inside the box
You're so afraid of taking chances
How are you going to reach the top?

Rules and regulations
Force you to play it safe
Get rid of all the hesitation
It's time for you to seize the day

Instead of just sitting around
And looking down on tomorrow
You gotta get your feet off the ground
The time is now

Try to have no regrets
Even if it's just tonight
How you gonna walk ahead
If you keep living blind

Stuck in the same position
You deserve so much more
There's a whole world around us
Just waiting to be explored

- Greyson Chance's Waiting Outside The Lines

Again, not my favourite anything BUT people may hate but not everyone has courage. And the lyrics here is like a message (to me) just waiting to be preached. Really funny how all the music I listened today (from the TV no less!) are quite inspiring.

||

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try

- Pink's Try

Always liked Pink, always. She can be a lot of things, punk, rebel, (more than slightly) crazy, but she's strong. And when she does it, man it's the real deal. And I do believe she's pounding this right down my ears.

||

Also, found this on Youtube, comments section on Goo Goo Dolls' Iris.

"Guys, I'm just another face in the crowd. But it you're reading this, know there's someone out there for you. Whenever you're sad, you listen to songs like these. So do I. :) I don't know any of you. But do me a favor, NEVER give up on life."
 

It's nice to know people do care.
Thanks stranger. You just saved a life.

White Night

what do you do
when the nights are too long
and you can't sleep at all
but find slight comfort in the day
then, let sleep overtake

Tell Me Your Favourite Pastime

Tell me your favourite pastime
And maybe I'll tell you mine


What is your most favourite thing to do?
Laying in bed all day, reading.